Do you attack yourself in order to protect yourself (to look like the victim)?

Sometimes we attack ourselves not because we are wrong — but because we are afraid.

Afraid of what it would mean to change, to grow, to admit that we feel a healthy conviction.

Sometimes we become so comfortable with where we are that we forget we even have dreams.

We think that if we stay in the same place long enough, somehow, miraculously, someone will find us and offer us our dream life — as a reward for our patience and humility.

What we often fail to see is that this is just a strategy to stay safe. And over time, it becomes an attack on the self. This attack can be especially insidious because it often disguises itself as virtue.

We abandon our real goals and desires in order to maintain certain relationships or comforts. By not risking our stability, we risk our future.

We learned to be small so as not to be punished.
To blame ourselves first so we might be spared the disdain of others.

Another function of self-attack is that it gives us a sense of control.

If we punish ourselves, no one else has to.

Old narratives may no longer fit us — but they are ours. And that familiarity can feel like comfort.

There is a thin line between self-attack and accountability.

We don’t need to erase our story in order to move on from it.

We don’t have to eradicate our sense of self to let go of certain traits or narratives.

We don’t need to annihilate our entire character to admit that we have weaknesses.

In fact, this kind of self-criticism often exists because, deep down, we want change. We want to be better.

So the work becomes building an inner relationship that allows for
self-respect
and sober self-assessment.

They don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

The point is not to approach inner change with malice or disdain.

We are our own parent now, and we can choose compassion.

No real change comes from force or punishment.

What lasts comes from self-knowledge — without shrinking ourselves to maintain a saint-like image. No one is asking that of you.

The possibilities you carry are rich, and your potential is enormous. You don’t need to beat yourself up to rise to the occasion.

All you need to do is stand up — so you can see more clearly.